Act of Kindness No. 7: LDOC-Finding the Kindness Moment in Each Experience

The Last Day of Classes on Duke’s campus brought a celebration unlike anything I have ever seen. It was an all out party day for the students that included food, drinks and concerts featuring performers such as Jay Sean, Flogging Molly, Rooney and Big D & the Kids Table. The amount of crazy college fun that accumulated on this one day was enough to leave us all exhausted.

As my friend Lindsay and I set out on the walk to our cars, I had only one thing on my mind: Relaxation. I will be the first to admit that on this particular day, I had forgotten to keep kindness in the forefront of my mind. Thankfully, I am blessed with amazing friends who have already incorporated kindness into their normal everyday routines. That brings us to Act of Kindness No. 7, an act that would not have happened if it was not for Lindsay.

As we were walking down the quad on Duke’s campus, surrounded by thousands of excited college kids, we said “Hi” to our co-worker from the Office of Student Affairs (OSAF) as he was trucking by to the quad pushing a dolly that was stacked high with water bottles.

Carrying on with our conversation, Lindsay and I stopped after we heard a huge popping noise. We were sure it was a balloon or a crazy college prank. When we turned around, we saw our OSAF friend bent over with the dolly.

The dolly had popped a tire and hundreds of water bottles fell onto the sidewalk. He was making an awful face. I froze in this moment and I was able to observe every detail of what was happening around me.

As if someone pushed a kindness button, at least 10 students ran over to help the sweet guy with the pitiful face-Lindsay included. I watched as they said “Sorry Dude” and “We will help.”

I smiled at this act of kindness and jumped right in myself. We all carried one set of 12 water bottles into the quad and into the boisterous crowd. I am not even sure if our OSAF guy even had to carry anything besides the broken dolly.

I was floored at the immediate reaction by all of these people. I am still in awe of the fact that in a moment of unplanned chaos, everyone jumped to help and not one of those people thought twice. The college students amazed me the most as their minds should have been on the band or drinks or graduation but instead everyone of them stopped in that moment to do something for someone else. What they each probably thought of as common courtesy has moved me beyond words. I will strive for that kind of kindness reaction time in the future. So in a place where kindness seemed unapparent, I was thrilled to learn it was there all along.

Act of Kindness No. 6-A Variety of Perspectives with the Same Ending

When I started forth on this blog journey, I promised myself I would do a little research on kindness and acts thereof. Not the sit-down-with-your-encyclopedia type of research but an in-depth look at the way people give, receive and accept kindness. Here is a little bit of what I have started to learn:

I was talking with my friend and co-worker Jess Jalufka when she told me a remarkable story about an act of kindness that she will never forget. When Jess was three, she was bitten by a rattlesnake (Jess is from San Antonio, Texas).  Her mother rushed her to the hospital and she underwent hours of surgery.  After recovery, Jess was in the hospital for over two weeks as she learned to walk again.  Her mother, though rejoicing that her child was alive, was in shock at the over $110,000 bill that this mother without insurance now owed.   Little did the family know, that their angel would come in the form of an old man from The Shriners Group.  He, after overhearing Jess's story, paid the bill in full and quietly left.  Jess is left with only a slight memory of the experience but her love for random kindness has continued to grow. Jess left me with these words to dwell on:

"It's so awesome to do the little things.  But every now and again, when people do the big things....it restores your belief in humanity."

Just the other night, I received a facebook post from one of my Tennessee girlfriends, Joy Morrison.  She touched my heart with her story and made me realize that kindness is all around in many parts of the world all at the same time.  People are doing amazing things without the slightest thought of receiving anything in return.  Check this post out:

"The best thing happened tonight... Joshua and I went to Jason's Deli for dinner, as we were waiting in line there were two older boys in front of us that had these bracelets that turn into animal shapes. Joshua was very attentive to the boys and their bracelets, as his good friend has them and now he wants them. After we ordered the Mom and I were waiting for our plates and I asked her where I could get those bracelets, I hadn't seen them in the store yet. We talked about it and I said thanks. As we were eating dinner the Mom came up to our table and gave Joshua a bracelet. It made him so happy!  I made sure we thanked the lady as I choked back tears that WE had just RECEIVED a "random act of kindness". My friend Tracy is promoting random acts of kindness and WE were recipients tonight! That 10 cent bracelet made my night and definately my son's. I need to give forward now."

Here are some inspiring thoughts from some pretty brilliant young minds about how "Acts of Kindness" have been influential in their life:



I was just checking my facebook and noticed that so many of my sweet friends are volunteering for so many wonderful causes.  From Relay for Life to Goodwill to volunteering at Animal Shelters, you are all teaching me so much about kindness.  Keep Rocking it Out! It will be amazing to see what more we learn over the course of the next few months.  I truly love your inspiring hearts!

Random Act of Kindness No. 5-Bye Bye Road Rage!

Traffic. Traffic. Traffic. Traffic.

Driving used to be therapeutic to me. (Sun-roof open, music up, windows down) Countless thoughts and ideas could be processed as I drove over rolling hills with only the breeze to stand in my way……

(Cut to present day) Horns beeping, brakes squeaking, smog rolling, fingers flying…..

I have developed road rage. (Understandably I would say.) Blame it on driving out of downtown Durham, blame it on road construction, blame it on the fact that my 20 mile commute takes close to 1 hr. and 15 minutes. I am lucky I know, as I do have close friends driving into Chicago and D.C. Still, for this little country girl, city driving is something I may never adjust to.

With that being said, I am yucky to other drivers and it must come to an end. For I cannot talk about being kind and considerate when I myself am pretty ugly for at least 1hr. and 15 minutes each day. No, I don’t let drivers over. No, I don’t brake on yellow. Yes, I will cut you off.

My intervention and thus, this week’s act of kindness came in an unexpected and oh so wonderful way.

It was 9pm and I was driving home from working a show when up ahead I saw what looked like a Disney parade of dancing lady bugs. Upon pulling up closer, I noticed there were hundreds of cars stopped in front of me.

 “Oh No,” I thought. “I am so tired and this is going to take forever.” Here it came…the road rage…the yucky-ness. As I sat there waiting to move even an inch, I saw some cars to the left zooming on up. You know the ones, the impatient ones that scoot on up there while the right lane waits in agony. (I am surprised I wasn’t in that lane actually)

Something happened while I watched all of this occur, I started thinking about the blog and about kindness and there was an opportunity there. I started thinking about what time really means. Why was I always in such a big hurry? Would 15 minutes really make that big of a difference? Then, I felt very grateful that I had been so fortunate to be safe for all of those times when my aggravation got the best of me.

So when I was nearing the end of the merge, I paused and let over at the very least eight cars from the left lane. To my surprise there was no honking behind me and no impatience at my actions. I can only hope the eight people who got to cut over in line are grateful.

For we may never know where they needed to be or what acts of kindness they were on the way to deliver.

Act of Kindness No. 4- Fire and Sugar and Love Oh My!

"We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude."~Cynthia Ozick

As I was sitting on my back porch, sipping lemonade and browsing through the pages of this month's issue of "Better Homes and Gardens" magazine, I came across a kindness idea in the calendar section that read "bake cookies for your local fire department."  These ideas tend to jump out at me now and I took out my pen and jotted the idea down on my "kindness list."  If I recall correctly it landed somewhere around #10 as a cute idea that I would soon try.  It was, however, not on my list for this week. 

Then something terrible happened.  By this point, we have all heard of the explosion in Montcoal, West Virginia that left 25 men dead and four others still missing.  I was raised in the mountains of Virginia and coal mining is a part of everyday life there.  If you do not directly have a member of your family employed in the coal industry then you at the very least have a friend who is.  In fact, my father-in-law spent 20 years in the coal mining industry before leaving to pursue other career interests.  There is no way to avoid that coal mining becomes embedded in your blood and when something as tragic as this occurs, you cannot help but feel as though these are members of your own family.  Though we are all raised knowing the risks associated with coal mining, there is no way we can prepare ourselves for the reality of such a nightmare. 

One of my closest childhood friends has a husband that devotes his life to being a rescue miner.  He was called to respond to the tragedy in West Virginia and while I was lying in bed saying prayers for his safety, I couldn't stop thinking about how his selfless heroism was a true blessing to the families of the lost miners.  Isn't that the ultimate act of kindness?  The complete and utter giving of your self to help save someone who you may never even know. 

That was it.  It came rolling back to me like a flood. 

The article about giving cookies to a local fire department, the one that had seemed so "cute" a week earlier, had just floored me with its gravity.  How could these little acts of kindness even begin to thank the men and women who spend each day saving our lives? 

As little as the act seemed, it was now #1 on my list and I have never been more excited. 

For this act of kindness, I enlisted the help of my good friend Josette Cruce.  She was more than glad to participate in this blog as she tends to be one of the sweetest girls I have ever met.  We baked four bags of cookies.  On the front, we placed a little "Thank you" note. 

Now it was time to deliver the cookies to the Apex Fire Department. We made it to station #3 and walked right in the front door with our hands full of cookies.  We were greeted by two very sweet firefighters that were more than appreciative of the cookies.  It is impossible to thank these men for the job they do each day but my hopes are that they will know how much they are loved and needed.  They make us all feel safe each day and we can learn so much from their ability to give so selflessly to others.  There were five men on call at the firehouse when we arrived and we were thrilled to know we had made just enough cookies for all of them.  After we dropped off the cookies, we were ecstatic in the car ride home. 

I am so thankful for all of the heroes that make life safe and fun.  Thank you for all you do.

"I can no other answer make, but, thanks, and thanks." ~William Shakespeare

Please visit http://www.apexvfd.org/to show your appreciation or even volunteer.  I am sure they could use more cookies! I am sure your local fire department could use some cookies as well.  It's your turn to show a little love! Do it this week!

Act of Kindness No. 3-Closet Cleanout:Goodwill Project

I can't believe it is the third week of this project already.  My spirit is refreshed by the coming of Spring and I am so happy to see the sun shining each day.  With the arrival of warm weather comes a need for Spring Cleaning which is what Brack and I have been trying to accomplish this week.  With that being our main goal for the week, it was clear that this would be the week we FINALLY donated our extra stuff to charity.

          When Brack and I volunteered gutting houses in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, we made a pact to ourselves that we would donate to goodwill at the very least once a year.  One of the largest lesssons we learned while carrying out hundreds upon hundreds of soggy items from flooded homes, was the lesson that we all have too much stuff. This is a lifelong project we have committed to and I am glad you are with us this year.

           Goodwill Industries International, Inc. uses donations to help fund "job training programs, employment placement services and other community-based programs for people who have disabilities, lack education or job experience, or face employment challenges." There are over 2,300 stores across the United States and Canada and making a donation is quite simple.  Watch Brack and I make our donation: 

Please go to http://www.goodwill.org/ to get involved further.

Please also remember to visit your local food pantries to donate items to those in need. 

Blessings to you all and Happy Easter!